Tag Archives: Timeout

Do you need a Timeout?

DSC_1051Hello Friend,

This morning at the breakfast table, my wife said to me, “What do you think of this?  You could take one year away from here–you have to move to a different city—and work on your stuff.  You would have time to finish your book, and who knows how long that will take with your normal schedule around here?  It is a year just for you and your work. And it is a fellowship, so you will not be losing money to do it.  It could set you up for the future.  Are you up for it?”

She sold it so convincingly that I half-thought she had actually lined this up for me.  A total timeout from the rigors of my normal life to devote all of my time to an important pursuit that I otherwise have to sneak in at random and fleeting moments (when I am typically exhausted).  Imagine that!  I would be like a TV show in Summer: “”William’s World” is on hiatus.  He will return in the Fall, right where he left off.”  For a whole year!

What could I accomplish in a year?  I was salivating at the thought.  I am a guy who always has an endless and ever-growing To-Do List when it comes to things I want to learn and do in my life.  The idea of being bored for a single moment is totally inconceivable to me.  I arrive at the end of every day wishing it were twice as long.  So, when she put the offer of a whole year on the table for me and suggested that I could write my book in that period, I took that as a challenge.  Surely I could finish the first one and get the second one started.  Of course, I would have to keep the blog going, too, and yes, those books I have been needing to read to get myself better equipped to write the books and blogs.  Maybe I would even take a couple of minutes at the end of each day and learn the guitar (I got a guitar for Christmas this year, not because I expected to make time to learn it this year, but rather because it is a bucket-list item for me that I will get to someday, and I want to be equipped when a “free” moment appears).  There are a million other items on the list, but those would have to wait; this year would be all serious business.

So, with all of those thoughts racing through my head in the few seconds that it took for her to finish explaining the opportunity, what was my response?  “No way.  Not a chance.”  What???  How could a guy who spends each day begging for more time pass up an opportunity like this?  It is a one-year timeout: who gets that opportunity?!? And, more importantly, who gets that opportunity and declines?  I do, without a second thought.

You see, in spite of my deep passion for everything I would use that year for, I have something that trumps everything every time.  I have two little children.  Since the day my daughter was born 5 ½ years ago, I have basically eliminated any non-essential activities in my life.  I changed my job so I could spend more time with her (and later her brother).  Hobbies and social life went out the window.  I allow myself writing time and exercise, but only when it doesn’t keep me away from them.  I don’t take trips without them, and I don’t get babysitters.  It is a bit extreme, I know, but the time with them is that important to me.  And, since 5 ½ years has gone by in a blink, I recognize how fleeting my time is with them.  Being their Daddy is the coolest thing I know—by miles and miles–so I can comfortably pass on the other things I always loved to do.  It is also why I can pass on the free year.  It would be an amazing year, no doubt, but not in the same ballpark as any year with them.  That is just how it is with me.

BUT……..ask me again in 15 years!  Then I will probably take you up on the offer and apply for a second year when the first is finished.  It is all in the life context.  In theory, the timeout year sounds fabulous.  I am taking my deferral of it as a sign that I have a pretty darn good gig going right here and now, even as I am well aware of the dreams that gnaw at me daily and could be addressed in that year.

So, how about you?  Are you ready for a timeout?  Get out your journal and ask yourself: Would you take that year right now if offered?  If you couldn’t do a whole year, how much time could you take?  What would stop you from taking it or limiting your time?  Then, what would you do with it?  How would you spend your time and what would that set you up to be and do?  How do you see your life differently at the end of your timeout?  Are you just less stressed, or has a whole new world opened up for you?

Explore all of these questions in your journal.  Believe me, you will go much deeper by writing them out than by simply giving a quick answer to each as you read.  Enjoy the process, and let your mind go wherever it leads you.  Dive deep!  Then, leave a reply with the link above.  Tell me about your timeout.

Be your beautiful self today,

William